As I come down the stairs I am so tired and feel like going back to bed and just hiding, it’s been 12 days since Bella went missing and other than some blood in the meadow near where her truck was found there has been nothing. Renee went back to Florida after a week but she calls daily to check in. I have to accept the fact that Bella is gone and she would want me to move on and try to be happy with my life. I need to call off the search and do the most difficult thing I will ever have to do in my life or career, declare my baby girl dead. At that thought I drop to my knees and I am unable to stop the tears. I don’t know how long I knelt there on the floor before I was able to get up and make my way to the phone to call Renee and let her know my decision. After my conversation with Renee and her agreeing that this was what we needed to do and then honor Bella’s memory by living our lives as best we could I grabbed my jacket & keys and started for the door, I stopped in the hall and looked up to Bella’s bedroom door “I love you Bells and I’ll do my best to make you proud of me.” I wiped the tears away and headed to the station to let the rest of the world know that we had lost an angel.
Oh Daddy, I’ve always been proud of you and i love you too I sobbed as I broke the connection. I had spent the night reading some more and trying to learn more about what it means to be a Dowser, it turns out that there is a theory on how a Dowser is made. It seems that if a powerful tracker were to change someone and that person had a really strong need and desire to find something they lost, the odds are really in favor of creating a Dowser, several attempts had been made but none were successful. Well, I knew I needed and wanted to find Edward so I guess that was the key, so that means the vampire that changed me must have been an extremely powerful tracker. Speaking of Edward, maybe I should take a look to see what is going on with him.
Descending the stairs I hear Tanya speaking to my family, God Tanya just admit to them that you don’t care anything for me, you just don’t like being told no. We both know that you prefer human men. Boy was I surprised a few minutes later.
“I came to thank Alice and Rose for inviting me to go hunting with the family and for promising to help me get Edward alone but, I decided that I just need to stop chasing someone that doesn’t want me. The only reason I have chased after him for so long was because they encouraged me and I really don’t like to be told no. I really am sorry Edward, I hope you can forgive me”
“Forgive you? Tanya I appreciate you finally telling my family the truth but, I’m sorry I can’t forgive you for the decades of raping me mentally when I asked you repeatedly to stop sending those images of you and I together in intimate situations, that I didn’t want to see them.” “I really think it’s best if you leave.”
Turning to my sisters I can only ask one thing “why?”
“Edward” Alice began. Rose interrupted “Oh please you know why”
“No Rose I don’t, would you care to enlighten me?”
“Let’s be honest Edward, Tanya is a more suitable mate for you than that disgusting human” Rose stood there looking so smug so let’s see how smug she is when I’m finished.
“You want complete honesty Rose?”
“Yes” Rose answered
“Okay, let’s begin with why you don’t like Bella”
“Well for starters, she’s clumsy as hell, she would stink up the house with her disgusting human food, not to mention bodily functions, I mean really how many times does a human need to go to the bathroom. She’s certainly not pretty enough to be your mate, she’s …”
Before she can continue I interrupt “she’s not you? Is that what you are trying to say without really saying it? If you are going to say it in my mind then say it aloud, complete honesty remember Rose.”
“Wait … Wh ..what is he talking about Rosie?” Sputters Emmett
“Please Emmett, you aren’t the idiot everyone thinks you are. You have known for quite some time that the two of you aren’t mates. I know that you really do love her but she doesn’t return that love. When she found you dying you reminded her so much of her friend Vera’s little boy, Henry that she just couldn’t let you die so she ran you to Carlisle. If you were her mate she would not have taken the chance that she wouldn’t get there in time and she would have changed you herself. You don’t feel the pain & pull when the two of you are apart as you would if you were mates. Do you know that she is considering leaving you and to go live with the Denali sisters so that she can go with them when they are looking to have sex with human men?”
“Tell me what he says isn’t true Rosie. Tell me you aren’t going to leave me” begged Emmett.
Rose started to answer him “Em …”
“Complete Honesty, remember Rose” I remind her
She glared at me “you are such an asshole Edward” then she ran out the door headed in the direction of the Denali’s.
Breaking the connection I scream into the empty room “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT”